The Little Blogger that Could…
2018 words by Amyre
I think I can. I think I can:)…
After reading the many comments that have been posted for my web log, I am even more driven to help solve the problem of abuse. I am looking forward to getting the opportunity to learn more as I work towards alleviating pain in the world. It encourages me because as I am learning, so are a lot of people who were reading as I was writing. I too was able to learn and take things from a different aspect and point of view than what I previously had. Some problems, I would not have thought of to solve, but once I started reading, I learned something I did not know and I left being glad that someone had thought and cared enough to do something about some of the problems, especialy those dealing with the next generation. I do appreciate this experience and I look forward to learning more. I know what I have for the moment are probably not the last comments that I will receive for my project, but I will respond to them as they roll in.
Dr. Homan:
Yes, I plan on being a dentist. Dental caries (better known as cavities) is a very prevalent problem, especially among children but also among adults. A lot of people do not seem to be aware of the consequences of not caring for their teeth until it is too late. I guess the point of view is \”If it ain\’t broke don\’t fix it\” Unfortunately, people are not aware that \”it\’s broke\” until they start to feel it…badly. I would like to work more towards the prevention of dental surgery. I have not decided whether or not I would like to specialize in a certain area, but I hope to keep my options open and abundant until I am more informed.
Che\’Vun Lane:
I had no idea of the various types of abuse, but it is true that you learn something new everyday. I think there should be more done in regards to punishment as well. If there is no serious punishment, people become under the impression that there was no serious crime done, and they do not put in a real effort to change the situations that occur. In the case of most problems, if we were to imagine our own family members in the position that many unfortunate beings have to endure, I think we would be a much more compassionate, peaceful, and considerate society. However, until that occurs, which will probably be for a long time, this cycle will continue.
Meghan. Yes I think we are right in that problems do not arise simply because they are problems. They stem from something larger and more common such as lack of morality, sacrifice, responsibility and unity. I do not know the solution to solving any of these larger problems, but I do know that if everyone worked towards making themselves better people then this world would be a healthier and different world. I was fortunate to find a program that deals with the reduction of my problem and hopefully as I become more informed, I can offer my knowledge and become a better volunteer for the people who need assistance.
Lauren Todd:
I had never heard of financial or psychological abuse either until I started the program. They both deal with the isolation of a victim until they become excessively dependant on their abuser to the point where they are afraid to leave and be left on their own. In many cases, in addition to the woman being afraid for her own safety there are also children in the picture whose safety is just as if not more important. I could not imagine having to make the decision between my own suffering vs. my children and I being homeless, moneyless, and without support. On the other hand like you said the children seem to suffer regardless. If the victim decides to stay so that the children may be provided for, then the children are subjected to their own psychological abuse when watching the ordeals that happen in their own “home”. I also think it is sad when women make excuses for their abusers behavior, bottom line, there is no excusable excuse. Hopefully victims can come to realize this point sooner than later.
Kelly Harkless: Thank you for your comments and suggestions. They really gave me something to think about, and I appreciate the time you took out to offer them. As far as I know the YWCA does not discriminate against the age groups that are allowed to come in or call the crisis line to receive help. I do agree with you that girls younger and younger are having to deal with abusive relationships, and that is probably related to the fact that children are having children and become fixed in a family setting where the father is needed for the healthy growth and development of he child. I know that there are however, shelters for specific age groups such as 14-25years in which usually survivors of abuse help to run it. As I learn more about legal advocacy, I will report it on this website. From what I have learned thus far, I can tell you that the legal advocate acts as the go-between for the victim and the abusers legal council. S/he is knowledgeable about laws that may aid in getting the victim temporary housing, protection orders against the abuser and temporary custodial orders for the children. The legal advocate’s main concern is the survivor’s safety and attempts to make the entire process as feasible as possible. I think that the journal is a very good idea not just for those who are abused but for everyone who can find the time to write in one. Journals help organize thoughts and clear your mind when there is no one to talk to or when you just do not feel like talking. I think that is a very good suggestion. The dramatic skit would be interesting, but I am not sure how well it would go over with women and kids who have been traumatized, well especially not right away. Maybe the skits could be implemented for those who had gone through the entire program and are there to inspire and encourage others.
Justin:
The statistics seem to increase everyday. I think even back in the day, when the statistics did not seem so high, that it was probably higher than recorded because there were not many organizations to help. Trying to leave a dangerous situation with no support to go to would only be putting oneself even more in the way of harm. Fear has a crippling effect than can be stronger than the actual climactic event of battery. The decrease of abuse will not come about until people like you and I begin to care. If everybody cared about something and took action towards it, we could improve slowly, but effectively, everything.
Stephanie O\’Conner
Education is the key to success. To work towards the end of a problem, you must be informed. I really did not realize this until I began my involvement with the Battered Women’s Program. Knowledge helps you to see different point of views and hear about the motives of why some people do what they do and why they react to certain things the way they do. I agree with you that self-esteem plays a big role in every woman’s development. It determines what we will put up with and how we handle different situations. Some women are under the impression that if they leave their significant other then no one else will want them and other negative thoughts like that. Ok. I am about to email you the contact information for the program.
Lisa Johnson:
I think when it is contemplated, many will agree that abuse is a serious problem. The thing is, that a lot of people will think of the more common problems such as world hunger, war, etc. first. Abuse hits home for many people, whether it is them personally or a close friend or relative. I think many victims are more on the \”can\’t get out\” than just \”won\’t get out\” of their situation, and for various reasons.The suggestion about getting involved with a friend was a good one, and actually my best friend and I got involved in the Battered Women\’s program at the same time. I think it is important in many and most situations to have some type of support system. We encourage one another to go on days that the other one of us may not be up to it. As long as one half of us is motivated to go, we will work to change the world together. The YWCA that we volunteer at is the one on S. Jeff Davis so it is really convenient to get to. More strict penalties are already in the works for abusers and hopefully acts can be passed that will make the consequences for battery as severe as the crime.
Ok. So that is it for now with the comments. A lot of people gave me some things to think about and I appreciated everyone\’s words of encouragement as well as your suggestions. It took longer than I thought to reply to the comments, but I attempted to put a lot of thought into each of my responses. This is the end of my week five web log for now and I will proceed to the topic for week six.
The next part of this blog has to deal with the readings done thus far in class and how they pertain to the problem that I chose to work on.
Abuse is a problem that stems from the abusers\’ desire and need for control. Things have to go their way and they will go far and beyond to ensure that \”their way\” is the only way. One of the stories that came to mind was \”A Tale of Two Brothers\”. In this case, the victim was Bata and the abuser was his mate. She went as far as murder (more than once) and if that is not abuse, then I do not know what is. The weird part, and there is always a weird part, is that Bata continued to return to his abuser. In the normal mind, it would seem that if someone killed you off, you would not love him/her let alone return for more. However, after time and hours of trying to understand, I realize and can try to accept that what Bata was searching for was love and acceptance. Imagine being the third wheel from the beginning of your life. Bata was second to Anpu and his wife. His job was working for his older brother, he lived in the barn with the animals, while Anpu and wifey slept in the warm and cozy house. Bata was there so long, that he was able to communicate with the animals. When his mate finally came to him, he wanted to do whatever it took to be around another person and have her love him. So much so, that when her abuse began, he just wanted the \”old mate that I used to know\” to come back. Unfortunately he was even willing to die for her, come back, and die again, over and over. When will he learn his lesson? She will not change unless she wants to and from the looks of it, she does not want to. His mate was looking for material gain, which Bata did not have. Bata barely had a roof above their head, a means to keep it there and on top of this, he had castrated himself… for his brother (mental problems?) so he could not give her children. Although Bata may seem a bit unstable and extreme in regards to his reactions to certain situations; however, there is never a valid reason to abuse someone.